Infinite and Intimate 

by Brennan Manning            

The effects of "beholding God”¾that is, contemplating the glory of the Lord¾are profound and far-reaching. In the life of prayer, for example, adoration assumes a pre­eminent position. The aptitude to appreciate the grandeur of divine Reality, born of the brush with kabod (the Hebrew word for “the glory of the Lord”) takes pride of place, and begets an Isaiah-like spirit of speechless humility and breathless amazement at the overpowering splendor of God. 

          After the encounter, a Christian will resonate to the words of Abraham Heschel on his deathbed, when he said to his friend, "Sam, never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power or fame. I asked for wonder, and he gave it to me." Confronted with the vision, however fleeting and obscure, of divine majesty, one becomes reluctant to speak and disinclined to share, because human language breaks down in the attempt to convey what can be grasped only in a non-rational, intuitive way. Intellect capitulates to mystery; spiritual reading, meditation, and reflection on scripture inevitably yield to silent reverence. 

         To adore is to recognize the unfathomable greatness of God and the nothingness of the adorer. In somewhat baroque language, Pere Sertillanges says, "Adoration is nonentity swooning and gladly expiring in the presence of Infinity." Baroque, yes. Diluted, no.

The human tendency toward projection¾ascribing to God our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes about ourselves and others¾is unmasked in all its absurdity. Distorted images and caricatures of God as vengeful, whimsical, fickle, and punitive (images that cannot fail to engender anxiety, fear, scrupulosity, and unhealthy guilt) are exposed for what they are¾puny and pathetic human constructs.

The same judgment is passed on the illusion of control. When life is tranquil, relationships intact, finances secure, and physical health flourishing; when the enemy is not at the gate; when the war drums are not rattling; when the Calvin Klein perfume advertisement for Eternity for Men seems plausible¾then a sense of complacency, self-sufficiency, and personal command of one's destiny deludes and lulls us.

But the reality of kabod shatters every delusion. As previous certainties desert us, we become vulnerable and open. The glory of God makes possible the primordial act of religion: the realization that we are not sufficient unto ourselves, that we have received our life and being from another. In a decision that reaches the roots of our most intimate self and demands the renunciation of belonging to that self, we freely ratify our condition as creatures. Through this fundamental act of dispossession we acknowledge the illusion of control and open ourselves to the reality of God.

The enormous difficulty of pain, suffering, and evil remains, heartache lingers, and there are certain wounds of the spirit that will never close. Unfortunately, organized religion is often of little help in times of spiritual crisis. In fact, it often makes matters worse. Any brand of religion that focuses exclusively on the supernatural and makes breezy pronouncements about the afterlife offers no comfort, consolation, or solidarity in our present suffering. The arrogance, rigidity, and blazing enthusiasm of religious fanatics who see in every hurricane and cosmic upheaval a sign that we are at the brink of apocalyptic catastrophe only alienate the shipwrecked and heart-broken.

However, a fleeting, incomplete glimpse of God’s back¾the obscure yet real, penetrating, and transforming experience of his incomparable glory¾

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